It will spread so spread the news to LSU: WE HAVE A CURE #bagkrag

January 20, 2011

LSU fans are in desperate need of help.  It’s been reported that Kragthorpe has resurfaced in Baton Rouge.

There is only one, known cure, which was successfully administered to thousands after Kragthorpe ate away three years of Louisville’s football life.

The Spotted Bass, which successfully Bagged Krag in Louisville, is currently preparing millions of antidotes (see image below). We will be distributing soon.

Post ideas for the back of the Kragthorpe prevention garment in the comments. (Louisville’s: Support the Cards, Relieve the Steve)


Cal’s Snake Oil: Coach Cal can satisfy all of your holiday shopping needs

December 13, 2010

UK Coach John Calipari has made at least 19 commercial ‘shout outs’ on his Twitter page since the beginning of October (see list below).   Coach Cal likes his players multidimensional, and you can’t call him a hypocrite in this area.   Though, we note that Cal seems to favor restaurants over fitness, and his waistline evolution since joining UK is some evidence.

We've had trouble finding Cal's Snake Oil for Christmas. Apparently, Dick Vitale has cornered the market.























Cal’s Shout Outs

Papa John’s
Common Grounds
Equestrian Games
John Kenyon Eye Institute
Paul Miller
J.J. McBrewsters
Urban Active
Kentucky Broadcasters Assoc.
Tropical Smoothie Cafe
Texas Roadhouse
Fan Outfitters
Soup Kitchen

The Utility of a UK Loss #goirish

December 8, 2010

We’ve been talking about how special it is when UK loses and UL wins on the same day.  Here’s a quick primer on the utility of a UK loss.

Spend it wisely.

Louisville recognized for using technology to track falling population rank

November 24, 2010

A new survey credits the Louisville metro government with using information technology to better serve its citizens.

One of the technology’s first uses is the ability to track the metro area’s national population ranking, which has dropped from 16th to 31st since the city-county merger.

New technology allows the city to update its population ranking on road signs

Says Walter Raftery, Director of Advanced Technology at Road Maintenance Services, “The technology is even cooler in that it looks like someone just went out and marked up the sign by hand.  What do they call it, Web 2.0 or whatever?  It’s warm and fuzzy, not like that stiff, northerner LED signage.”

We may not be efficient in keeping people here, but at least one can’t say the same about tracking it.

Jack Conway Needs You

November 18, 2010

Jack Conway needs you, folks.  His senatorial campaign is over, but the financial dealings surrounding it are apparently not.   Jack sent an email today asking his supporters — actually, to anyone who might feel sympathetic — to help retire his debt.

In Jack’s thank you letter, he says, “When I look back on the past two years, I think of meeting the widow of the coal miner in Eastern Kentucky who lost health insurance for her and her son the day after her husband died. I think of meeting senior citizens in Paducah struggling to get by on a fixed income. I think about the student in Lexington who can’t afford her college loans. And I think about you…”

Jack Conway is saying, folks, if you have an extra $50 as holiday season approaches, DO NOT seek out the widow of the coal miner who lost her health insurance or the struggling senior citizens or those who can’t afford college.   We can now add Jack Conway himself to his list of the unfortunate.  He lost a campaign despite questions about his opponents’ civil rights beliefs, aqua buddha, and spending more money than he had to spend.

And, for that, he needs your help, indeed.

Don’t Toll Me, Bro

November 17, 2010

We admit, we haven’t been tased, but we imagine it is uncomfortable based on the pleas of those who are about to endure it.

Watching our beloved metro area consider the thought of burying itself in concrete only conjures up thoughts of being tased repeatedly, like, every time you’ll walk under the massive pillars just to be sure the waterfront is still there.  Not least among the unavoidable, insulting repetitions is a toll (disproportionately borne by locals) to help pay for the massive undertaking.

The point here is not to be another source railing against the insanity of the ORBP (and concrete mixers everywhere).  There are plenty of those out there, and they have our full support: 8664, No Tolls, Save Louisville

The point here is to be a voice for those who cannot speak.  Because, as The Spotted Bass believes, if you don’t have a voice, you better damn well get yourself a shirt.

Out from Hibernation

November 16, 2010

Wow.  That was a LOT of fan mail.

But, we’re back, and we’ve found that 140 chars just can’t contain us.  Kind of like our brethren in fish bowls.  Something like that.

Much, much more to come, but that’s probably a bit of an overstatement.

Severe storms no longer excite local weathermen

February 27, 2009

Another severe storm swept into the Louisville area early this morning, but local TV meteorologists admitted that, due to the rash of severe weather the area has seen over the past year, the storms no longer excite them.  In fact, none of the local TV stations covered the storm though winds topped at 60 mph and rain was measured at a seventh of an inch.

“This storm did absolutely nothing for me last night,” said Jay Cardosi, of WLKY-32. “Been there, done that.  I used to get a rise out of something like that.  Not anymore.  It was, let me spell it, ‘W-E-A-K.’  And besides, it was in the middle of the night.  Absolutely no face time for me.”

The weathermen also admitted they preferred storms to occur in prime time, when viewers are likely watching their favorite television program or athletic event.

“Obviously, the best part of this business is when we can interrupt a big game or a big show,” said John Belski, of WAVE-3.

Belski then reflected fondly when he interrupted the final episode of Seinfeld with a measly tornado watch.

“Ah, the look of those Seinfeld fans the next day is something I will never forget,” said Belski, through a mixture of tears and laughter. “There was probably a 5% chance of a tornado but there was a 100% chance they would miss their coveted show.  I loved it.  ‘Friends’ was a much better show anyway.”

Slumdog Millionaire extra speaks for Republican party

February 25, 2009
Actor says we should use government response to Katrina as example

Actor says we should use response to Hurricane Katrina as example of how government can be more efficient

Jalen Rose knows five ‘fab’ words

February 22, 2009

Jalen Rose, the cocked-lipped, wide-tied ESPN NBA analyst and former University of Michigan free agent, said the word ‘great’ during the taping of NBA Live last night, bringing his total non-pronoun vocabulary to five words.  ‘Great’ has been added to ‘he’, ‘is’, ‘a’, and ‘player’, making Rose one of the most linguisticly-talented analysts at ESPN.  Rose now trails only Emmitt Smith, Jay Williams, and Eric Young among ESPN’s best-built vocabularies.